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He screamed.
“James!” Alexis yelled from far away with fear in her voice.
His eyes shot open and he sat up abruptly, looking around. He was outside, not in a room, and there were no bodies, no zombies. Alexis was kneeling next to him where he lay on the ground, a shocked expression on her face.
“What the hell was that?” she asked, resting a hand on his arm.
It had happened again; he’d had another episode. Those were supposed to be gone. He was supposed to be healed. It’d been well over a week since the last one, and he’d thought it would be the last. Why had he had one now of all times? It wasn’t like he was still out in the world, his sanity fraying. He was safe here, and it shouldn’t have happened again.
“James,” Alexis said, “answer me!”
He was too ashamed to look at her. Instead, he stood up and took a step towards the gate at the back of the patio.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I have to leave,” James said, opening the gate and slipping out before she could say another word.
9
Meeting
Emmett strolled toward HQ, enjoying the warm evening air. The climate up there wasn’t much different than what he was used to, just a little drier than east Texas. It was odd to think that he’d never be going back to where he’d grown up. He’d spent most of his adult life overseas, living on various bases, and that had been fine with him at the time. But he’d always told himself that when he got out of the service he’d move back to the same area he’d grown up in, which he had. Now he’d never get to see that country again. Would this town ever feel like home? Should they even stay? This place was as safe as any and under the protection of the government. As long as the military was there, he’d stay. It was what was best for Alexis.
His daughter was on a date that night and he still didn’t know what he thought about that. James was a good guy, much better than that idiot she’d dated back in college, but was he good enough for his daughter? James would be able to protect her; he’d seen that himself. On one hand, it would be good for his daughter to settle down with someone, to be able to live a somewhat normal life again. But on the other hand, it could be devastating if James broke her heart by leaving her or dying. The caveat in all this was that he didn’t have a say in the matter. This was beyond his control, and he dismissed the thoughts. If his daughter was happy, he’d be happy. There were other things to worry about.
As he entered the building, he couldn’t help his mind drifting to Ana. Where was she now? Was she safe? He hoped so. It’d been hard not to go back out after her once they’d arrived in Coutts. In the end, he decided he couldn’t leave his daughter alone, and if Alexis was right, Ana didn’t want to be found anyway. What exactly had happened at the Reclaimer’s compound? Alexis had told him the story a couple of times, but he didn’t understand why Ana would want to be on her own. It was ultimately her choice, but he wished she’d stayed with them. He’d grown quite attached to her rather quickly.
Going up the stairs, he walked into the conference room. Both Cpt. Miller and Cpt. Sanders where already seated at the large table.
“Evening, Emmett,” Cpt. Saul Miller said
Cpt. Sanders just nodded.
“Evening, Saul,” Emmett said, sitting down.
This was the first official meeting they’d invited him to. It felt good to be in these situations again, surrounded by people he could rely on. It was the opposite of how he felt traveling with the rest of the survivors from Burns. Over the next five minutes, a couple of military and a few civilian personnel showed up. Emmett recognized some of the faces in the assembly. The night before, he’d been in a private meeting with the two captains and the man in charge, Colonel Briggs. They’d asked him questions and done an unofficial job interview before deciding he’d be an asset to their meetings, being able to provide a unique perspective. Emmett and his group had spent the most time out there, surviving in a hostile world.
“Is everyone here?” Cpt. Miller asked once they were seated.
“Yes,” said a woman sitting in the corner with a laptop. She’d be taking notes on the meeting, more than likely. This wasn’t strictly a military meeting but a gathering of all the leaders in town.
“Anything new to report, Sharon?” Cpt. Miller asked the same woman.
“The power plant is running at seventy-five percent,” Sharon said. “That’s only two percent down from last week. The food supplies are slowly decreasing, but if the run tomorrow goes as planned, we’ll be good for another ten days at this population. Only a few infected have made it to the fences over the last couple of nights, and they were all disposed of with little effort. In fact, I have nothing negative to report.”
“Finally, a good week,” Cpt. Miller said. “Anyone have any comments before we move on?”
“I put an order in for more pharmaceuticals and various medical supplies,” said a man with black hair and hard eyes.
“Yes, Dr. Hart,” Cpt. Miller said. “Sharon gave me your list, which I passed on to Cpt. Sanders for the run tomorrow. But I have to ask how you’re going through so many drugs when hardly any people are going to the infirmary. We just restocked it last week.”
“With all due respect, Cpt. Miller,” Dr. Hart said, his voice portraying the opposite, “you aren’t aware of the people coming and going day to day who have a common cold and other minor ailments. We have limited supplies, and every time Joe Blow comes in with a stuffy nose, those supplies dwindle.”
“Very well,” Cpt. Miller said, looking at Cpt. Sanders.
“I’ll get your drugs,” Cpt. Sanders said.
“Thank you,” Dr. Hart said.
“Anything else?” Cpt. Miller asked.
Emmett looked around at the men and women who were gathered in the room. It was an odd assortment—military leaders, a doctor, a cook, a mechanic, a man in one of those black uniforms, and a few others. It had to be a very unique situation for the military to divvy out power to all these civilians, but it spoke volumes that maybe they wanted this place to seem normal.
“The helicopters,” Cook stated. “They’re beginnin’ to worry people with how they come and go, bringin’ and takin’ people.”
“Those are none of your concern,” Cpt. Sanders said, coldly. “It’s military business.”
“What Cpt. Sanders is trying to say,” Cpt. Miller said, “is that they’re doing what they’ve always been doing—bringing in key survivors from the surrounding areas and taking out key survivors to secure locations where they’re needed. It’s nothing for people to fear.”
“Just tellin’ ya what I’ve been hearin’,” Cook said.
“Thank you for informing us. Now, if there’s nothing else…” Cpt. Miller paused and then continued. “Cpt. Sanders, are your men ready for the run tomorrow?”
“Yes, they are,” Cpt. Sanders said. “Although I’m not sure about the validity of your sources.”
“They’re reliable,” Cpt. Miller said.
“They just got here and could be leading my men into a trap,” Cpt. Sander said.
“They went through a rigorous testing process, and they passed,” Cpt. Miller said. “Plus, Emmett Wolfe vouches for them.”
“While I trust Mr. Wolfe,” Cpt. Sander said, not glancing at Emmett, “I won’t wager my men’s lives on his vouching for them. Why didn’t we send a military escort with them?”
“It was unnecessary and a waste of manpower. We only have so many trained men at our disposal,” Cpt. Miller said.
“We still should have sent at least one soldier with them to verify,” Cpt. Sanders said.
“Duly noted,” Cpt. Miller said. “Now, I was thinking they could accompany you to show you exactly where they found the supplies. James drew a crude map, but it would be more effective if they went with you.”
“No,” Cpt. Sanders said. “I won’t babysit those three and put even more of my men in danger.”<
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“You’d rather fumble around looking for the supplies?” Emmett asked.
“Yes,” Cpt. Sanders said, looking at him. “I’d rather that than take three untrained men into the field with me. Everyone seems to think that just because a catastrophe has hit, the way of the world has changed. It hasn’t.”
“I happen to agree with the captain,” Dr. Hart said. “And that brings me to my next concern.”
“No,” Cpt. Miller said before the man could talk. “You’ll take the help you were given and be grateful for it.”
“With all due respect—” Dr. Hart began, but Cpt. Miller cut him off.
“It’s nonnegotiable,” Cpt. Miller said. “You asked for all Vindex guards and you were given them with no military involvement. You ask for more supplies on every run and you’re given that. But this isn’t up for debate. Col. Briggs himself approved this, and no matter how much we let everyone in on the running of this town, it’s first and foremost a military outpost and we’re in charge. You’d do well to remember that.”
Emmett hadn’t seen Saul that worked up since he’d arrived. It reminded him of years ago when Saul hadn’t been stuck behind a desk job. It was good to see he hadn’t lost all his fire.
The large, red-bearded man in a black Kryptek uniform stared daggers at Emmett from across the table. He was the one in charge of the rest of those mercenaries working for the Vindex Corporation. Emmett hadn’t learned much about them and didn’t know why they were there, but it seemed they were working for the government as extra protection. Why this man would be staring at him like that, Emmett didn’t know, but he stared right back anyway.
Dr. Hart fumed but said nothing else and the meeting continued. They were briefly updated on how the rest of the country was faring, which wasn’t too bad. The east coast had been hit the least. Whole cities were still standing, quarantined off. The west coast had been like that early on, but the latest reports showed them slowly losing cities they’d thought were secure, and they couldn’t figure out how. Even though there’d been no breaches in their security, all of a sudden the infection would show up in the middle of a city and begin to spread. The Canadians weren’t faring much better, and earlier in the day they’d gotten word that Calgary had fallen in the same way the west coast cities had. Most of the people in the meeting didn’t take that information well, but it was music to Emmett’s ears. He’d been hearing rumors that the country was better off than they’d thought, but this was the first official confirmation he’d gotten. While he hated to hear that more towns were falling to the infection, it was all better than he’d hoped.
Cook talked in more detail about food supplies and how well the eating system at the Mess Hall was working. The mechanic, Tom, informed them about the new pieces of fencing and the modifications his men were making to their current perimeter. The more people talked, the more Emmett realized this was the exact place they needed to be. It was the real deal. Even though the military was in charge, everyone had their own parts to play, and it made the place feel less like a military base and more like a town under military protection. This place was as safe as any could be. It was small but well defended and had a lot of talented people keen on keeping it afloat.
The meeting concluded and everyone dispersed. Emmett was about to walk out when Saul motioned him towards his office. Emmett walked down the hall and into the office while Saul finished talking with Sharon. After a couple of minutes, Saul walked into the room and slouched into his chair with a prolonged sigh.
“Scotch?” Saul asked, opening one of the drawers in his desk and pulling out the bottle and a glass.
“No,” Emmett said. “You know I don’t drink.”
“I know,” Saul said, “but I figured I’d ask. This whole situation can cause even the likes of you to need a stiff drink.”
He poured some of the amber liquid into the glass and took a sip, nursing it. Letting out another sigh, he leaned forward, looking Emmett directly in the eyes.
“What do you think?” Saul asked.
“I think you have one hell of a town here,” Emmett said.
“Thanks, that was one of the best meetings we’ve had. These people are glad we’re here, but sometimes they forget the stakes. Our entire survival is at risk.”
“The doctor doesn’t want Alexis working in the infirmary, does he?”
“No, he doesn’t. But I pulled in a favor with the colonel.”
“Thank you, Saul.”
“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I can do after all the times you saved my ass.”
“That did happen a lot.”
“More so than I care to admit.”
They both chuckled, remembering the good old days.
“How much do you trust James, Connor, and Allen?”
“Allen?” Emmett asked.
“Oh, he goes by Tank, right?”
“Huh, so that’s his name. I don’t know much about him, but he seems to be a good man.”
“And what about the brothers?”
“I trust them with my life and the life of my daughter.”
“That says a lot.”
“It does. We’ve all been through the grinder out there, and I’ve been highly impressed by how they’ve handled it. While I don’t know much about Allen, they seem to work well as a team. I still stand by my recommendation.”
“Good, because I have a situation. I’d normally send Marines, but we’ll be shorthanded with Cpt. Sanders going out tomorrow. I’m worried about these people you faced. They may still be out there, and I don’t want to take too many away from the defense of this place. That’s our first priority. Do you think those three can handle a real mission?”
“Yes. They’re just as dependable as anyone inside these walls, if not more so. The only thing they lack is actual training, but out there that doesn’t matter so much. They’re survivors.”
“Good. I need them to look into something.”
10
The
Episode
James walked down the alley with no direction in mind. He just knew he had to get away. He didn’t know where or what he was running from, but he had to go. The problem was, where could he go? There was no escaping his own mind.
“James,” Alexis called out, jogging up to him.
“Alexis, please,” James said.
“What? You think we’re done just because you had one of your episodes?”
“How do you…?”
“Chloe told me, but that doesn’t matter.”
“Really?” James said, looking her in the face and raising his voice. “I can’t go a day without my mind replaying all the death I’ve seen. The images won’t leave my head, and I have to relive them every time I have one of those episodes. And now that we aren’t on the road, all of it’s coming back to haunt me. I hardly sleep and I’m constantly reminded of the people I’ve lost.”
He wanted to say more. The anger was raging inside him, trying in vain to cover the pain and loss, but before he could speak, Alexis stepped closer to him and stared into his eyes.
“You think you’re the only one who’s hurting? James, I lost my mom and then was captured and almost fed to zombies. Then I watched my best friend shoot someone who was going to kill me. I can’t get that image out of my head!” Tears were beginning to brim in her eyes. “I close my eyes to sleep at night, but I can’t, because I keep seeing Evan’s brains being blown out the side of his head. I don’t feel safe here—not with the fence, not with all the people. I just keep thinking that at any moment they’re going to turn on us, or Jezz is going to get in here and kill me. You weren’t there, and you didn’t see that look in her eyes.”
Tears streaked down her cheeks as James stood there, stunned at the show of emotion and the realization that he wasn’t alone in his struggle.
He wasn’t alone.
Alexis was trying to deal with what she’d been through as well. Without thinking, he pulled her
into his arms and they embraced. She began to cry on his shoulder and he couldn’t stop his own tears. He cried for his parents and Felicia and Mila and all the people they’d lost. He cried for his brother who he knew was hurting in his own way, and Alexis who was as broken as he was, but most importantly, he cried for himself. He’d lost something since all this began—a piece he’d never get back. He’d killed, stolen, and fought for every mile they’d traveled, and he’d do it all again if he had to, but he’d lost his innocence along the way. He was a broken man in need of healing.
The sun neared the horizon and he took a step back, drying his tears off on his shirt. He looked into Alexis’s face and wiped tears mixed with mascara from her cheeks. Even in this state, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He wanted to say something profound, to comfort her and let her know how much her opening up had helped him, but he could find no words to express the depth of his feelings.
“Thank you,” James said, simply.
“You’re welcome,” Alexis said, wiping the remaining tears from her chin.
“Wanna go for a walk?” James asked, holding out his hand.
“I’d love that,” Alexis said, taking James’s hand as they walked through town towards the western fence.
They walked in silence, content just to be with each other. James had bared his heart to someone he was still getting to know, and he rarely even did that with people he’d known for years. Yet, it felt right.
They passed by where James was staying, and all the inside lights were off. Connor and Tank must be up at the saloon again. Scourge was missing though, which was weird. They usually didn’t drive there.
“How is it, staying in an abandoned store?” Alexis asked, breaking the silence and trying to lighten the mood.